Posted By: Michael Sweeney Oct. 15, 2009 We use this fun feature to occasionally take a look at a couple of semi-outrageous, at-least-somewhat-connected figures in the public eye, comparing and contrasting them, their words, and their behavior until we can determine just which one of them is the nuttier, more insane, and just plain crazier individual. As you would expect, we’ll be plucking examples from the world of politics…but also from media, pop culture, sports – whatever floats to the surface of obvious madness. Party labels, network, publication, or team affiliations, or even poll or box office numbers won’t necessarily matter – if they seem unhinged, we’ll call them on it… So, for the latest fun-fest with this sharpened-rhetorical-daggers-ready feature, let’s take a current look at a pair of prominent female GOP politicians (past and present public officeholders) and try to determine just WHO IS CRAZIER – Sarah Palin or Michele Bachmann???
Hey, it’s time once again to sort out a couple of loose public wingnuts to see just which one is looser and nuttier. Yep, it’s the return of The Stonecipher Report’s popular (and oh-so-sarcastic) feature: WHO IS CRAZIER???
Overview: 2008 was a key year for women in US politics…and a few of them are maintaining their attention in 2009. Oh sure, Hillary Clinton transitioned into the respected Secretary of State role, but…of course, there’s a couple of them in the other party continuing to get attention for not necessarily their leadership abilities or their expected future roles, but for their nearly non-stop insanity.
2008 was the year that made former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (my runner-up as 2008 Political Person of the Year) a world-wide household name. And, boy, what she has done with the notoriety she received after being anointed the Republican VP candidate on the "John McCain: Watch This Huge Upcoming Crash!" 2008 Presidential campaign. And, oy – what we have learned about her along the way: She apparently had no idea what George W. Bush stood for…she couldn’t name what books, magazines, or papers she regularly read…she (even as a semi-rookie pol, with at least some third-rate journalism-school training) could not even handle semi-softball interviews…she thought it important that she could peek over the Bering Strait and into (apparently) Vladimir Putin’s eyes, soul, and various security-related intentions…and both her family and her political deal-making were – frankly – a backwoods mess. But, hey – at least she is sorta young and telegenic!
On the other hand, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R – MN) (who represents Minnesota's 6th Congressional District, which covers the northern far suburbs of the Twin Cities along with St. Cloud) did NOT have the sudden national elevation that showed off Palin, but…ooh, she sure has worked hard to drag herself out and up into the national political spotlight. She was ONLY elected to the House in 2006 (and re-elected in a tight race in ’08), but she has wasted no time in making herself notable and quotable as an out-there, say-apparently-anything right-wing radical. Frankly, at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if FOX News kept an open mic and camera on her at all times…as she keeps doling out the kinda truth-optional rhetorical crap that their audience greedily gulps down.
Advantage: While Bachman is quite the comer (especially lately), Palin has still got to be considered the overall leading lady on the Republican (AND the crazy) side of American politics.
Recent Crazy Activity: Almost ALL of the nuttiest behavior by BOTH of these dames has been fairly recent, since they both became nationally famous about the same time – a little more than a year ago. (In fact, it was almost exactly a year ago that Bachmann made her first "Huh?!?" splash while campaigning for the McCain-Palin ticket and claiming – on Chris Matthews’ "Hardball" show – that Barack Obama and a growing number of members of Congress were likely "anti-American" and should be investigated…) But the some of the most recent stuff has been the craziest.
For Bachmann, that includes starting off the public firestorm of the "Death Panels" idiocy (which Palin also later ran with)…calling for a boycott of (or minimal cooperation with) the 2010 Census, incorrectly citing Constitutional backing for her pointless opposition…and claiming that the AmeriCorps federal community service organization involved some sort of sinister "re-education camps for young people" (this – of course – before her own son Harrison actually joined an AmeriCorps program).
As for Palin, her most recent bizarre stuff includes her surprising resignation of her gig as Alaska Governor (with about 37% of her single term remaining)…her ongoing semi-random tweets on whatever political topics apparently wander across the vapid landscape of her mind…and the about-to-be-released book that she IN NO WAY "wrote," the strangely titled "Going Rogue" – which was the derisive statement about her that McCain ’08 Presidential Campaign officials disgustedly said after she stopped following directions from the top of the ticket.
…Another pretty damned close category, but I still gotta say…Advantage: Palin – if for no other reason than that just about anything crazy she would do or say would still make fairly widespread news (while most of Bachmann’s coverage – except for the most outrageous bits of it – would likely stay ghettoized with her fervent fans at FOX).
Self-Labels: OK, we know that both of these wacky women are Republicans and Conservatives (and definitely pro-God and -guns and anti-abortion and -taxes)…but what else do they call themselves? According to Bachmann, she is: A "national spokesperson" for conservative issues, still a "tax litigation attorney" (when she has not been authorized to practice law for several years – and has not likely been in a courtroom for more than 10 or 15 years), and – perhaps most amusingly – "a foreign correspondent on enemy lines" when it comes to serving in Washington among the current Democratic majority. (Hmm – so we Dems are "foreign" to her? Now, who’s being "anti-American"?)
Palin got even more mileage out of her self-descriptions – many that most Americans could at least semi-trot out: A "hockey mom," a "pitbull with lipstick," and a "maverick" politician. Yes, but she has also described herself as being an "intellectual" (WHA? but, but…wouldn’t MOST actual intellectuals also be considered "elitists" – AND be able to at least name a magazine or newspaper or two that they usually read to stay informed and educated?) and as a "fighter against corruption" (even though she was involved in nearly 20 ethics probes while heading the Alaskan government – running up about a half-million-dollar legal defense bill).
…Well, clearly there’s some dual-minded craziness going on there in self-awareness. Advantage: Palin.
Sample Crazy Quotes:
Bachmann:
"I just take the Bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I'm not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was. I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I'm not a scientist." – 2003
"[Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that." – 2004
"[W]hat a bizarre time we’re in…when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the Pledge of Allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it." – 2004
"Literally, if we took away the minimum wage – if conceivably it was gone – we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level." – 2005
"I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax, because we need to fight back." – 2009
Palin:
"They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan." – 2008
"I may not answer the questions that either the moderator or you want to hear, but I'm going to talk straight to the American people." – 2008
"I’m not a member of the permanent political establishment." – 2008
"I told the Congress, ‘Thanks, but no thanks,’ on that Bridge to Nowhere" – 2008 (of course, this was AFTER she was FOR said Bridge…)
"As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?" – 2008
Bonus, connected Bachmann-Palin quote:
"Don't let them Palinize me!" – 2009, Bachmann from a fundraising e-mail in which she claims she is now the "second-most-hated Republican woman" after the former AK Governor and VP candidate.
Advantage: (Note: Both ladies are frickin’ treasure troves for finding idiotic things they have said – I probably coulda listed a dozen mouthfuls of stupidity from each of them…) Hmm…MUCH CLOSER than even the other tight categories. I think that Sarah Palin’s quotes are more historically stupid and "Duh!"-inducing…but, if the metric is based on craziness – and, well, looky at the headline: "WHO IS CRAZIER???" – then I have to call this one a squeaker win for the gal from the Land o’ 10G Lakes, Michele Bachmann.
Final Analysis: Shouldn’t even be close, right? Most categories were won by one of the currently most famous women in the world (and the last battle was pretty close to even). Yeah, but…bottom line? Sarah Palin is just…kinda dumb (perhaps even VERY dumb) – and goofy. She’s a joke who helped prove that John McCain didn’t have the backbone (or the clues) needed to actually become President…AND she provided Tina Fey with plenty of great material. But is she crazy? I mean really, REALLY crazy? (Remember: The first "WHO IS CRAZIER???" honoree was Glenn Beck, so…we’ve got a kinda sky-high standard to maintain here...)
…Therefore, we here at The Stonecipher Report have determined that the second recipient of our "WHO IS CRAZIER???" award is that wide- and wild-eyed member of Congress (well, at least until January of 2011), Rep. Michele Bachmann!
I’d try to give her a little advice to perhaps tone things down if she wants to remain more than just a near-nightly punchline in US politics, but…I doubt she’d listen to me, since she is so obviously nuts…AND, I can even suggest a better recent example that she might want to pay attention to – hey, ‘Chele, baby, darling…you might want to look into the already-trash-heaped career of Florida’s previous nutty Congresswoman (and the state’s 2000-Bush-election-delivering Secretary of State), Katharine Harris. The even-younger-than-Bachmann (by exactly one day less than a year) Harris became an over-make-upped joke after her prominence during the 2000 Bush-Gore recount, parlayed that into two terms in the US House, and then lost an ill-conceived race for the US Senate. All that – and she wasn’t even as absolutely bat-shit nutso as Bachmann clearly is!
…And, by the tick-tick-ticking of the watch measuring in Harris Standard Time (as the MN Rep marks about the midway point of her second term), it looks like Bachmann could well be nearing the potential end of her most-prominent public-eye time. (Her notoriety certainly helps attract attention and raise money for her local opposition; time will tell how effective that might be become.) But, until then – I guess we’ll just have to keep enjoying the mad ride of following, watching, and listening to Michele Bachmann…our pick for – by-far! – the craziest prominent woman in American politics…
Look for my regular posts here on The Stonecipher Report…And, for a free subscription to my twice-weekly e-mail column on politics and pop-culture, "And, in the News…" send a note to: m_l_sweeney@hotmail.com
Wow, this is a close race...which one is more batshit crazy, more batshit crazy????
I think Palin is crazy like a fox, she is more ignorant, but a real schemer. Palin is like those evangelical preachers who rake in millions.
I think Bachmann is really crazy. They are BOTH quite sick, but they cater to a sick base.
The prize must go to all the lemmings that follow them, the ones with a whole in their phyches so deep that they need to fill with BS and buzzwords. POOR idiots.
Sarah Palin/Tonya Harding 2012!
Posted by: DEO | October 15, 2009 at 03:01 PM
Thanks for the comment...and, good call.
I agree that Palin (while no genius) IS more of a crazy schemer, trying to parlay her misguided, often-misstated beliefs and sudden fame into multi-millions (through speeches and her book) and possible future power (which ain't gonna happen; the clever Brer Dem sez, "PLEASE Mistah 'Publican -- please don't nominate Miz Sarah in 2012!").
...While -- of course -- Bachmann is "merely" batshit nuts. Basically, any given can of Planters, fresh off a store's shelf, is FAR LESS NUTS than Michele Bachmann is...
Posted by: Michael Sweeney | October 15, 2009 at 03:15 PM